Social beliefs the worlds worst bully

I went onto my Facebook today, something I do not tend to do all that often anymore and there was a link from one of my friends,

Kasey Edwards- Letter to My Mum
I highly recommend it, its letter written by a lady called Kasey Edwards and I do not think I have ever read anything more true.

This is what my husband and I were talking about last night. Society is screwed up, it is a bully, it destroys a persons self confidence, self love and ruins relationships. It tells little kids (girls and boys) that the only way to be beautiful is to be skinny, have your ribs showing, no thigh gap, perfect face, perfect hair and perfect teeth. It destroys souls, hearts, love, families, people. It drives some to suicide, self harm, mental illness and the need to seek approval through various activities including sleeping around and never believing you are good enough you look good enough.

Why should a person be based on their looks, isn't each person perfect for them? For who they are? For them? No two people are the same, even identical twins would have one or two slight differences, a freckle, nail shape etc. Why should I be criticized because I don't look like Angelina Jolie, Honestly I don't care to either. Firstly I am me not her and secondly she has got scarily thin.

How are we supposed to teach our children to love one another, that everyone is different and that's ok, that no matter what people look like, no matter there race, gender etc that we need to accept them for who they are. If the media and society wont bugger off and embrace individuality.

How are we suppose to teach our children that its ok to be religiously diverse? That no matter your sexual orientation you are still human and still a person and that you are ok and should not be treated any differently to the straight person the other side of you? When a person can get fired or refused a job because they are fat? Or a 10 year old girl told she is too fat loose weight  or she will never be pretty? That a teen is told no-one will ever love them because their teeth are crooked?

Then when the 10 year old develops an eating disorder and starts making herself vomit, she is abused for being sick and acting stupid, when her ribs start showing shes too sick and ugly. The teen with the crooked teeth, how is her self esteem meant to be high when no-one wants to be her friend until she has them fixed.

Society and Media are hypocrites, and the worst form of bullies, they are ones that you cannot escape, that is hard to stand up to. They are the ones that cause more heartache then they are worth. I would rather a world without any form of social media, newspapers, trashy magazines, tv then I would one full of pain and suffering.

I personally am 164cm and weigh 88kg. I have put on 30 kgs since I had my first child, 10 years ago at 18 years old. I carry it mostly in my stomach and thighs. I have stretch marks on my stomach, hips, breasts, thighs. I have cellulite, I have horrible hair that's starting to get grey strands, I'm not even 30! I drink too much coffee, enjoy my chips (crisps) far too much. I wear a size 14-16. I don't play sport, I dedicate that time to my 4 kids sports. I have horrible coordination and would much rather curl up with a book or cook then play a game of netball. I love walking but don't get the chance as much as I should. But I am going to start as its relaxing. I HATE planned exercise. I really do. I own exercise equipment and never use it. Id rather walk, hike or rock climb. Life in my eyes should be about an active busy life not finding 2 hours a day to go to the gym.

So to the world I say SCREW YOU!!!!! I am who I am. I am proud. Yes I want to get healthier, But my god if i want that piece of cake or a hearty meal because I feel like it I WILL. I am going to teach my children the truth behind the bullying, behind the pain. I am going to teach them that even as young as 2 we can say to the world Shove Your Views. I will be ME, I will be FREE, you WILL NOT ruin me, not anymore. I will be healthy not thin. I will love my imperfections and embrace who I am. I will be individual. I will love what I want, wear what I want, look how I want. And you will love me for it or leave. I don't care. If I am a size 10 or 22. I WILL me for me, my friends and family WILL do the same. I will not allow society induced bullying in my house, in my life.

YOU ARE PERFECT! YOU ARE LOVED! JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! BE YOU AND BE FREE!

The Great Lunch Box Conundrum….

Here in Australia we are currently on our end of school year holidays, 6 weeks of blissful sleep ins, kids getting in each others personal space causing mass amounts of arguing, over tired children crying because the cat looked at them and the dog they are asking to adopt barked whilst they where day dreaming about how good it would be to have one.

It is also a wonderful time for parents to regroup mentally, well sort of, as much as you can with kidlets running around. Time to plan, make any changes, trial new foods, the speed of how long something takes to prepared, test out routine changes for mornings, can you still get out the door in time. And to come up with a reason as to why the One Direction CD is going to magically break come time for school to go back. As sweet as it is they tell me I’m Beautiful, I don’t take compliments too well and forever telling me is sorta creepy.

These holidays I am using it to make over our lunch boxes. My kids got bored last year and I don’t blame them, being home Little Miss (2yrs) and I can have a sandwich, toast, eggs, toasted sandwich, salad, leftovers etc. Those who are away for lunch don’t get that option. Usually it’s a mad rush of “Quick, have you made lunch yet?” “Mum is there any sandwich meat?” “MUUMMMMMM, why can’t I have Nutella?” “Mum, I hate sandwiches, cant I have leftovers” Then the other 2 start they want leftovers and there’s not enough for all three so no-one has it and Daddy (Sparky) comes along and takes it with him.

So next year my plan is to mix it up. Have sandwiches 3 days a week and something else in between, and something different again on weekends. I have looked at those Japanese style lunch boxes. And I like it but my kids would eat it all in one sitting, as they wouldn’t know which is lunch and which is recess. I am also after something that fills them up, they all appear to be having growth spurts and last year Missy (10 yrs) used to take food out her brothers, Master (8 yr) and Mister (5 yrs) lunch box when she was hungry. I increased what I sent and everything came home or the eating siblings lunches would continue.

In 2013 they each got

-1 sandwich with filling of their choice (excluding nut-based products)

- 1-2 pieces of fruit (or a tub of grapes, strawberries)

- 1 tub of yoghurt, cheese and crackers or boiled egg

- 1 piece of cake

Considering they have one recess, one lunch (for which they get 10 mins to eat before playtime), and a healthy snack during class. I thought that was enough.

In 2014 I’m aiming to replace the sandwich with other things, wraps, pinwheels, scrolls, salads. Make the crackers myself, maybe with a wholemeal/grain bread to make them more filling and healthier.

But I honestly am at a loss. Lunch items needs to be able to be made quickly or grabbed and thrown in. I would prefer home made anything over shop packaged chips, museli bars etc. As well as something healthy that fits in with the schools healthy eating guidelines

See:

http://www.decd.sa.gov.au/eatwellsa/files/links/Easy_Guide_Updated_June.pdf

When I come up with solutions I will be sure to pass them on. Does anyone have any ideas? What do you send?

Do You Know the Muffin Lady?????

Well today I thought Id post a recipe. Seemed simple enough, I have been debating over this past week what recipe to post. Being that its the last week of school for the year, YAY!!!!!!.

For the record I am one excited Mum. I LOVE holidays, not just sleeping in a bit, but there's no rushing, no stress, no complaining about what to put in lunch boxes, or worrying that the kids had a late night due to some event and they will be too tired the next day, and most importantly I get to spend time with my kids. Actual time, not just an hour or 2 in the morning and again at night. I get more of a chance to talk, play games, do activities and socialise with 4 or the 5 most important people in my life. I LOVE holidays, especially end of year, Christmas ones as we get a whole 6 WEEKS together.

So this last week has been a rush of family events, school concerts, town carols, skate park opening, work for hubby, school for kids. It has been chaos. So there hasn't been alot of baking, and the meals I have been cooking are simple, everyday, lots of leftovers meals. Such as sausages and salad. Nothing overly riveting, or spectacular. We had a salad platter lunch time Sunday and lived on it for lunch and dinner for 2-3 days. But that's ok, it saved wasting it and cooking when we are run off our feet.

This morning I found 3/4 of a punnet of sad looking strawberries, and in trying to start my New years resolution early of "Waste Not, Want Not" and "A Penny Saved Is a Penny Earned" I decided to make muffins. And I have to say they turned out quite well, Hubby and his work apprentice stole some on the way outta town, I got a message asking me to deliver them to a town 2 hours away LOL, so I figured
A) No one died, it was safe to then try it myself
B) Delivery that far, is so not going to happen
C) If someone not in this house enjoyed them, then obviously they are not just being nice to keep Mummy and the Mrs happy so it's worth sharing.

Chocolate Berry Muffins
2 1/2 cups self-raising flour
1/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/2 cups milk
160g margarine, melted
2 teaspoons vanilla essence
1/2 or more a punnet of strawberries chopped
extra sugar
1 cup (maybe more) choc chips

Preheat oven to 210 deg Celsius. Lightly grease muffin trays or line with paper liners.
Put strawberries and the extra sugar into a bowl, how much sugar depends on your tastes, I just sprinkled some over mixed through. You may not want sugar at all. You may like it sweeter. 
Sift flour and baking powder into a bowl and mix in sugar.
Make well in center.
In a jug mix milk, egg, margarine and vanilla , pour into the muffin. Mix gently a little bit. Add choc chips and strawberries. Continue to mix gently.

THE MIX SHOULD NOT BE SMOOTH, YOU SHOULD ONLY MIX UNTIL ALL INGREDIENTS ARE JUST MOIST. THERE SHOULD BE LUMPS OF FLOUR. IT ALSO MIXES BEST WITH A WOODEN SPOON. I have no idea why it just does :)

Place ice cream scoops full of mix into muffin liners, bake in oven for 20-25 mins.

This makes about 30 muffins. I do not do over flowing muffins, these rise about even with the top of the liner. Makes it easier for my kids to handle. But please note it really does depend on what size liners and muffin trays you use. We make bit bigger than cupcake size, so that my youngest doesn't waste it, and that its more of a snack then a light meal.

Also the choc chip measurement is that way because well you can't not taste test the packet of chocolate chips, and to help keep my 2 year old happy she scored a 1/4 cup filled with them to eat etc.  I'm sure these will taste wonderful with a full packet of chips. Ditto goes for the strawberries.

In the Beginning...You met me.

Firstly, Hi and welcome to my life. I hope that I can help you even in one small tiny way, just enough to make a bad day a little bit better, a sad face a little bit happier and a stressed out parent a bit more relaxed.

I’m a “young mum” and will always be a teen mum at heart. I had my oldest beautiful daughter at 18. She was a pleasant unexpected, arrived 10 years earlier than planned gift to my husband and I. She was followed by a wedding, then her energetic brother, another brother, 3 angels and cheeky little sister and another angel brother. 

It’s been a long tough 10-11 years. One of ups and downs, Heart felt joy and heartache. But we have made it through. It hasn’t always been easy, there has been some truly dark moments, but family and friends is what keeps us going.

I love helping people, I love doing what I can to make someone feel better, even if its just an ear at night, cooking for them, watching their kids, or in some cases sharing my experiences and helping them through it.

I love being me a full-time stay at home mum, I do not work. I have tried it and honestly I found it was too much for my kids, my husband and myself. I hated going to work everyday and leaving my kids in care, I hated the child carer knew them better than I did. I hated that I had to ask when and how long my baby slept for, what did they eat? I was miserable. We where ordering more take away, I was too tired to cook, I was working 8 hours a day, studying and trying to do all the mother and wife duties. My kids where tired getting up at 6am to start the day to get to care in time for their Dads work (it was easier for him to take them as our carer was out of town where Hubby worked). The time they got home depended on Hubby job that day. It could be as late as 7pm. It was horrible, so when the opportunity came to quit almost 10 months after starting I did. This was the third time I had tried working before that was after my oldest was born. I tried aged care, but shift work and hubby’s unreliable hours made child care a nightmare. Our family lived in different towns and the family in town helped where they could but they too had lives, and our shift changes and hours meant no-one ever seen each other. Once again we all hated it so I quit, and found out later I was pregnant with my first son.

During and after both these failed attempts, I decided to try party planner with a lingerie and clothing company. I loved it, sales, people, free clothes, my own hours it was fantastic. But living in the country party planning has its fall backs. Firstly you know everyone and its embarrassing to buy lingerie from someone you know, secondly as with everything the fad sweeps through and leaves, thirdly in order to make sales I had to travel and by the time I paid for host gifts, stock, petrol, child care if needed I was breaking even or at a loss. I also had issues with people smoking near my products and leaving a horrible smell on it all, which took a pile of febreeze and airing to get rid of.  So I left that too. 

The only place that truly works for my family in which we are all happy, relaxed, not wasting money, have family time is at home. I have no issues with working if the occasion called for it. But I am lucky as we can make it work. I fell pregnant in year 11 so I never finished High school or University so there is no pressure to make my degree work or to pay of student loans. I have since completed a Certificate 4 in Finance (Bookkeeping) with the intention of working from home, but due to regulation changes, unless I go out and work for someone else for several years first to gain experience I cannot do it. On the plus side my Cert 4 is an equivalent to a High School Certificate so I am pleased about that.

Hubby loves that I stay home, it gives him the flexibility to work as needed, knowing the kids are taken care of, he is not coming home to an on-slaught of jobs and cleaning, meals are homemade and not take away and to be honest financially we are better off. But I will explain that part later.

I have no quams with working Mums.  I understand each persons situation is different, some have no choice, some choose to due to disliking staying home. Some have their partners stay home, there are a million reasons why a mother or father chooses to stay home or work. And that’s up to the parent(s).

Will I work when my kids are all older and in school? I’m not sure. My youngest is 2 and won’t start Kindy until 2016, with new age limits. But by the time I do school run, clean, organise the days meals, bake what needs to be done, tend the garden, deal with the errands and shopping it will soon be time to pick up kids. We have 4 kids, 3 of with play sport that takes up 2-3 days a week. Next year this will increase to 3-5 days, and a husband who plays sport 2 days a week. I will not have time after work to play catch up. Id love to own my own business, so we will see.

My blog is about a normal, everyday family, something probably boring to some or even most. But that’s ok. Its not for everyone. I will share my recipes, how I do things, what I’m doing. My frustrations, thoughts, happy moments, I will have my tantrums and giggles. I want to make it clear that whilst I am Christian and I believe in God and have a strong faith, whilst I do attend Church (when we can) this blog will not be a Christian based blog, there will not be references on every post, nor will there be prayers, or direction on how to do things according to the bible.  I will go into my faith in another post to explain it more.  I also advocate “normal”, “wholesome”, “everyday”, “healthy”, “moderation” lifestyles, diets and all that mumbo-jumbo. I do not believe in cooking with foods I cant buy easily, can’t pronounce, or looks like something my cat- threw up. I apologies if you like that food. I believe in old fashioned, home cooked foods. With the occasional mummy’s absolutely knackered so this arvos snack is a packet of chips/crisps.

We are trying to slow our lives down, become more laid back, relaxed and eat healthier and natural but Im also a realist and everyone needs a treat every now and again. 

Well that’s all. Yes I can talk, dribble on, carry on and bore quite easily. Please enjoy my blog I will try to post regulary at least weekly, please bear in mind I have kids so its not always easy. So please have a coffee, or tea or wine and enjoy Where The Heart Dreams….

Love Bec xxxx